The Secret ~ Revisited



It was strange sitting on that bench looking at sandcastles we hadn’t built, kites stretched to the sky with no need of our hands.  It was strange seeing children in whirls of excitement for beach holidays, wild fairground rides waiting to induce the scream.  It was all… so familiar.

It was strange all of that, was no longer you or I.

We sat quiet, serene smiles on faces looking out to sea.  As if we’d arrived to watch a show, wondering where all the years had vanished.  How had we become the still people?  The ones slumped in deck chairs eating sandwiches, sipping lemonade with newspapers draped over heads, shading their pink English skin from the unexpected heat of the day.  How their eyes had followed us, amused at what our little hands could do with a plastic bucket, a spade, and a heap of soggy sand.

We have discovered, no matter how hard we try to keep all we’ve known alive, change is always certain.  Time ticks, and who we’ve become will continue to surprise.

We may be confused children, absent of Mum and Dad, empty of buckets and spades, with a lack of desire for castles made of sand, to cut the wind with a kite, get chills from awesome rides, or revel in artificial game score highs at the arcade.  But at least we are still a brother and sister who laugh a lot, share a precious moment, and remind ourselves appearances lie….we are the same people we always were.

It’s all on inside, not the outside.  And only we know the secret of how to find the real boy, the real girl.




Some of you may remember this story from a post I created in September 2013 called The Secret.  It was a poem, with photos of a seaside town I visited in Lowestoft, Suffolk.  I’ve not done a repost before, so I decided to rewrite this into short story style and record it.

If you’ve read too much today, you can sit back, be lazy, rest your eyes and listen to this one!  The original post contains a lot more photographs of the day, a traditional British cream tea, and a beautiful surfing video filmed in Lowestoft.  If you’d like to see it you can view it here.



51QgNPRw1mLDaughter Of Darkness ~ Katya Mills
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36 thoughts on “The Secret ~ Revisited

  1. This is my first time with these words, and they were mesmerising. Touching on the changes in time and the timelessness of sibling relationships. Reminiscent of the relationship with my own sister and tuning into my current thoughts on defining friendship.
    Beautifully read. Your calm contemplative voice most appropriate.

    1. Thanks so much Peter! I’m very pleased to hear you can relate to this with your own sister, that’s always extremely encouraging to know what you’ve written is not just a solitary inward reflection of thoughts. Writing should be about making connections, otherwise it’s not worth much. I really appreciate the feedback – thank you for that thoughtful comment! 🙂

  2. We may be confused children, absent of Mum and Dad, empty of buckets and spades…. Loved it! I often wonder too, how still we have become. But at the beach I am always with the kids – I never join the ‘elders’ who sit there and watch.
    Whenever I read your posts I am amazed by the similarity of our thoughts in spite of the great gap between our worlds/cultures.

    1. Hello Bindu!!! 😀 I was only thinking about you the other day and wondering how you are, so lovely to hear from you!

      I think you have the right way of thinking, keep the mind and body young, I like that! My brother and I haven’t quite got to the point of shading our heads from the sun with newspapers and having an afternoon nap in the scorching sun, which is how I remember some of those older English beach dwellers. Not good for your skin to do that at all, and despite their newspapers and their sun hats, they still managed to get lobster pink noses at the end of a hot day. I have a feeling sun lotions in those days were all about promoting a golden tan not blocking sun rays, so unless they sat in the shade, they were destined to turn very pink! 😉

      That’s so lovely, I think we do all have many similarities all over the world, and communicating with blog friends has shown me so much of that. We were taught terribly basic information at school on how the rest of the world lived, it certainly didn’t teach us reality. I’m so glad I’m in touch with lovely people like yourself, it’s been enlightening. Always look forward to your comments on here Bindu, I hope life continues to treat you well. 🙂

    1. Very lucky indeed, he’s a real blessing, and not just to me. 🙂 If we were looking for dragons, we wouldn’t find them now – the dragons are all gone in the city, all went to a charity auction. He met some of the artists just before the auction day, and got himself on Twitter to promote his dragon website, it seems to be going very well. I think he prefers to have a project (website) instead of an ongoing blog, don’t think blogs suit him very well. I’m glad he’s found an online hobby he can enjoy. I told him you mentioned to me about the Cod, he did find that quite funny!! 😀 Not sure what that art charity will be creating in two years, but whatever it turns out to be, I think he’ll be tracking that too.

  3. This left me feeling wistful and nostalgic. How wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your brother. It is great to share the world with someone who has known you since childhood. May the scones and the sea and all the lovely memories hold and keep you both! til you next see each other again.

    1. I consider myself very lucky indeed. He did move quite a way several times in my early 20’s, but for the last twenty years he’s been practically on my doorstep, which makes it nice and easy to arrange meetings for days out. We missed out on sea this year, but got to visit some gorgeous gardens, so might be doing a post on that some time in the near future. Can’t wait for next summer, because that little restaurant will be serving delicious things again! 🙂

  4. Suzy … Your story reminds me so much of the good times I shared with my brother when we were growing up … and our times together when we are visiting him on vacation. Good times – whether it’s at a performance, dinner, or just quiet time hiking up a hill.

    1. Very glad to hear that Judy, not everyone has the comfort of great friendship with their brothers or sisters. I know some friends and relatives who have fallen out with their family and never seen them again, so a loving friendship that lasts is one to cherish. When you’re walking up a hill, you need a good reliable friend, what better than a brother! 🙂

      1. Sad to say, Suzy, I did not have the same relationship with my sister. We did not grow up together. She died several months after our Mom died in 2001. We had gotten together months before, but I lost touch with her again when she moved. Sad to say, it left a void that cannot be filled.

        So, yes, thank heavens for great family friendships. When they happen, they do mean a lot.

        1. That is very sad Judy, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister especially in that way. It’s good you’ve managed to keep contact with your brother, family ties are very important for emotional well being. I have met people who have lost contact at an early age with all of their family, I feel so sorry for them. Friends can be good, but rarely are they as close as family. Both my parents had separations with at least one brother or sister. They never really talked much about how they felt, but it must have been a weight on their mind at times. My brothers first sister died of leukaemia when she was three, I was on the way but not quite breathing air! 😉 I think it was hard for a six year old boy to accept a screaming baby as a sister – but anyway, he adjusted well, and I’m glad I was in some ways able to fill the void.

  5. Dear Suzy! Your poem is just as wonderful in prose as it is a poem. It does change a bit in how it is read and interpreted, but still as lovely and emotive as before. I am so happy for you that you and your brother share such a strong bond. May your friendship grow stronger with time!

    1. Oh, thank you very much Nadia! 🙂 The aim was to keep the main body of the story, but fill it out a bit more and alter how I said certain things. I do that the other way round sometimes, it’s fun to do with an old poem or story. Yes, my bother and I have always been great friends. I know not everyone gets that opportunity to have such a friendship within the family, so I appreciate it very much – we’ve always been a close family. Thank you, I’m sure it will!! 😀

  6. Oh yes I do remember this one very well Suzy! I thoroughly enjoyed it and the story version is lovely now. There’s just something special about English seaside resorts isnt there? And those scones! I remember those too!! 😄

    I’m taking a needed blogging break. It’s all explained in my latest blog post which I put up yesterday. I’m sure I will be back refreshed at some point in the future. 😊 xx

    1. Thank you so much Christine! I don’t think there is ‘anything’ like the English seaside resort, in the way we do it here. Tacky as some of it is, I still love a lot of it. I don’t know how I’d feel if I lived at a seaside resort, maybe I wouldn’t be so thrilled with it, I like it small doses! 😉 Oh and the scones, yes!! 😀 They were hilariously huge, and as delicious as they look in the picture. I didn’t get to enjoy that lovely restaurant and their giant cakes this summer, too much else going on, but it’s definitely on the to do list for next year.

      Well, a break from blogging is a very good idea, more bloggers should have breaks. When you take the time and trouble to read a group of blog friends posts on a regular basis, all together it’s a lot to keep up with – and the writing – and the posting – blogging takes a bit of effort to keep it going. Which is partly why I don’t post a lot, I’m sure I’d burn myself into blogging exhaustion if I did!! 😀 I’ll make sure to read your post about it tomorrow. I really hope you enjoy your well deserved break Christine, do all the things you don’t get time to do, and I’ll certainly be looking out for your return post, take care! 🙂 xx

  7. Yes, I remember, and this is nicely redone. Time and age beset us all. We can’t escape it. How could we know back then where we’d be now?

    Redoing the photos in B&W adds a nostalgic touch too.

    PS I also remember the scones. 🙂

    1. Thank you! 🙂 I remember wondering what I’d be like in my forties but, it was a cloudy thought, and one I didn’t want to think a lot about in my twenties. But actually, it’s not turned out that much different to before – unless I’m just fooling myself! 😉 I guess it varies with different people. If I’d ended up with six kids, four dogs, threes cats and demanding husband, I might say it was VERY different!! I think it’s the little changes, that make the difference.

      I didn’t know what else to do with that picture to make it any better, so yes, that’s what I was thinking – nostalgia. And black and white is so good and creating feelings of nostalgia.

      We didn’t get to go to that teashop this summer, we missed out on the yearly treat. But once tasted you can’t forget those scones! 😀

  8. It is a good piece to revisit again. The rendering of the pictures in B&W makes them and the poem even more powerful. Your voice and the sound of small waves in the back ground are so compelling. I recalled that was for your brother birthday which is just about this time around too. I hope you just treated him as good this year too.

    1. It was originally a spur of the moment thought for posting on my Tumblr blog. I thought I’d post it here too, as I’ve not yet done a repost of my own work. I was messing around with that photo and couldn’t see what I was doing was making it better, so just turned it black and white, but a tiny bit of a blue tone, which I think is quite popular for black and white images at the moment. Black and white is often good at creating that nostalgia feeling.

      It was my brothers birthday (good memory you’ve got!). This year I just went over to see him, laden down with the most delicious sausage rolls in the world (I’m sure! 😉 ) and a collection of cakes, which is often how we prefer to celebrate birthdays now – food! 😀 But he did have a family party on another day too, so he was well looked after!

      I took some images with my phone the other week at a beautiful sunken garden near where I live, (a secret private park) the results were good. Hoping to do a post about that sometime. So pleased with my android phone. I’m recording my voice with it now too – better quality than my previous recorder. Only thing is, the mic is so sensitive it picks up some of the hum from my computer fans, so have to read my writing off paper in the kitchen and late at night too because it picks up the noise of passing cars on the road at the other end of the house – crazy!! 😀

      1. That was a good choice for having a bit of blue tone. I also do add other tone than just plain B&W as well but I have not tried blue tone before. That is a good idea to try next time. Good story about your brother’s birthday this year and you are happy with the new phone too 🙂

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