All Of Now

same_sky_but_a_different_window_by_laurazalenga-d68ptm3

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Today is happening
right in front of my eyes
But the future
plays with my thinking
plans – arrangements
things to do

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Now is – now
I want to see it all
not missing a single moment
Now – is being alive
seeing the small
the significant

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Seeing what I have never
acknowledged before
Observing
what is passing
in front of my eyes
The witness
of the start and finish

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Seeing now
is knowing words people will speak
even before they do
The silent language of their desire
their body
their intentions
escaping
from the inside
to the outside

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And each thought
move and step
each breath I take
I want to feel
to know my own self
the language my body speaks
to me
to the world

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When my mind is occupied
cluttered
weighed down
thoughts of later – tomorrow
invade my space

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A reflection of something said
an action done
Why did they say that?
What did they mean?
What did they have to do that for?
Why – why?

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I could live my entire life
somewhere else
thinking like that
Going round and round
over and over
of yesterday
last week
many years ago

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Missing so much that could have been
Not catching what occurred
Not seeing
aware only of myself
as though this world just contained me

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And what I think I’ve surveyed
eventually becomes rearranged
jumbled
misplaced
erased
Not much left to remind me
of what actually happened

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Right now is happening
And that’s the place I want to be
To stay briefly still
Absorbing not what has been
or what will be
but – what is

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No living in a vacant mind
missing the impending trick
Opportunity for something
anything
everything
to be taken
Because my mind was
unfeeling
for a moment
was over there
forgot to live in now

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Now is eternity
Eternity is now
And time is nonsense
A game given to the fool
to rush – rush – rush
to keep moving on
to plan in meticulous detail
think ahead of what is logical

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To be busy – busy – busy
To prepare
to buy
to spend – spend – spend
To de-clutter
re-clutter
and next year
Let’s do it all again!”

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To up-size
and down-size
To have lost everything
to someone
a faceless one
never introduced
never known
To leave this earth
with little evidence
of a good life really lived

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If I never feel now
how will I ever have known it?
My memory will be of stories
a substance
of what I thought I lived

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But if I stop
pause the flow
suspend the clambering thoughts
for a little while
Listen
to what has not been revealed
Not the brain
the wiring
the wheels
and cogs
But listen intently
to the struggling soul
the timid voice inside
always faint and small

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Listen
to what it doesn’t want
Understand
what it asks for
Know
what it cries out to discover

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Then today will be happening
on the inside
and out
Then – only then
will all of now be known

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This is a repost of a poem I posted on the second day of this blog, I thought I’d give it a little edit and bring it out of hiding!

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Picture: Same sky but a different window

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31 thoughts on “All Of Now

    1. Oh! 😦 That’s often the way life goes doesn’t it!? I find the now tries to happen without me quite a bit, and that annoys me a lot – probably why I wrote this. I read it occasionally to remind myself, this is how I want to be, sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t! 🙂

    1. Haha! 😆 Yes, that’s a god way to describe an average day for a lot of people!! I’ve heard of literally that kind of thing happening with computers, when something goes wrong, or too many documents try to open at once – obviously the computer has a major crash! So it’s no surprise that we do sometimes! 🙂

  1. I’m glad you brought it back so that I found it. Very well written. Love the premise of living today. I guess if He had wanted us to forever second guess the past, He would have placed our eyes in the back of our heads.

    1. Thank you! 🙂 Yes, second guessing the past is a bad habit, and very destructive too! But it would be useful to have eyes in the back of our heads sometimes, but that may require a second head, and that would mean two – oh, yes, maybe it was good that He didn’t – I like the way I am!! 😀

  2. While I was reading this poem Suzy I kept nodding, saying Yes! It reminded me of a quote I read only yesterday by my favourite Buddhist poet/peace activist,. I thought you might like it. Of course you may already know it, but I think it enapsulates what your words are saying.

    “When you touch one thing with deep awareness, you touch everything. The same is true of time. When you touch one moment with true awarenes, you touch all moments. According to the Avatamsaka Sutra, “The one contains the all”. If you live one moment deeply, that moment contains all the past and the future in it”

    Thich Nhat Hanh, Your True Home

    Love christine xxx

    1. I’ve not heard of that quote, that sounds very interesting and along similar lines to how I like to think, so thank for that Christine! 🙂

      It reminds me of some of the words of Prentice Mulford in his Thoughts Are Things book – a favourite book of mine, contributed a lot to putting my head straight when I was in my early 20’s. I think he was interested in some of the Buddhist teaching, but also made mention of Christian principles too – a very open minded man of the 1800’s! 🙂

      1. Thats very interesting. I think Buddhism plus christian principles make a good mix, for me at least. I am aware its a very personal thing. 🙂 We have to go with what works for us dont we 🙂 x

  3. Sentimental, dear…and I know why. But we have to keep trying to find “buts” in these life “abouts”. Substitution is one of the ways. : ) Probably I sound idiotic now.

    1. It’s interesting that you could see something sentimental in here, I don’t think I intended it to be – was more of a statement of a desire to be, and not miss so much of life! But it’s intriguing how different people get different things from the same piece of writing – and that’s how it should be really, so that’s good, and not idiotic at all! 🙂

    1. It certainly does! 🙂 I have had times in the past when my mind has been preoccupied with anxiety of what has been, and worry for what hasn’t yet happened, it causes the mind to freeze in the end – just numb, shut down, definitely not a good place!

    1. Ooh – a whole video!! 😀 When I post links to You Tube on my own blog they never come out as videos! 😦 I know quite a lot of Genesis songs, but I’ve not heard this one – definitely – it is here, it is now, thank you for that! 🙂

  4. Ah, another apt and timely post and a topic I was already writing a blog post in my head! I was sat on the beach yesterday, only our second visit to the beach in 6 months, but I was looking at the waves, and the sand and the sky and listening to the sound of the wind and the waves and thought that really, it is quite a monotonous view and sensory experience. And then I got to thinking why do I love it so much there, when there is so little to actually see or hear above the roar of the tide. And then I came to the conclusion that the sights and sounds blanket my mind, they actually stop me from thinking. I do not think at all at the beach, apart from about the here and now. About the sand between my toes and how it feels, about how the light catches the waves. Moment by present moment. That was it and it was incredibly refreshing. I think that is why I always come back from the beach so revitalised. I wish I could remain in that mind frame or at least dive into it now and then! 🙂

    1. Interesting, sound like you need to go more often – and so should I really! 🙂

      I was writing something yesterday about that very thing, the ocean calming the mind! I’ve heard it said that the reason so many people like the sound of the wind and waves of the sea is because it’s a similar sound to what we all heard in the womb, something to do with heartbeat and the sound of blood rushing round the body – ugh, sounds horrible when put like that!! But I suppose it makes sense, that we would latch onto a noise that we subconsciously relate to at a time when we were not so busy thinking, just lying back relaxing in a hammock life style!! I think also the actual scene of that much water is very calming. But of course, we were all in water in the womb too – oh how strange, I shall never see the beach the same now! 😀

  5. “Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” (Voltaire) I believe this applies to the here and now in life as well as to people.

    Thoughtful post, Suzy.

    1. Thank you! 🙂 Yes, stopping to think, to appreciate, is very essential to life, or a quality life. Not always easy to do, too easy to get caught up in so much emptiness. I wrote this to remind me! 🙂

  6. The here and now is the present of presence! It is a gift. I hope that I learn to treasure it more and more each day! Wow, you wrote this on your second day…impressive 🙂

    1. Thank you, very kind of you! 🙂 I think I wrote this about two years ago now – I’ve been writing a while! I posted it first on a writers site called Jottify end of last summer, but having a blog was always at the back of my mind, just took me a while to get round to it!
      Suzy 🙂

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